The Stress‑Hormone Cycle: Why You Can’t Just “Calm Down”
You’ve probably been told to just “calm down” when you’re feeling frazzled. Or maybe you’ve told yourself that — like it should be easy to relax, especially when you’re feeling anything but relaxed.
But here’s the truth:
Stress isn’t all in our heads.
It shows up in our sleep, our mood, and even our metabolism — and just insisting that we do something to calm down doesn’t help. In fact, it can make everything feel even harder, especially when stress is chronic.
Stress isn’t a choice. It’s a physical response.
When something triggers stress — whether it’s a deadline, a hormonal shift, or the million little demands of life — our body releases cortisol, our “stress hormone.” Its job: give us a quick burst of energy to handle a challenge.
But in midlife, this cortisol surge doesn’t always settle down. Instead, it can:
Keep us wide awake at night
Spike hunger or cravings
Throw our digestion out of whack
Keep anxiety or irritability simmering
So it’s not that our mind failed to calm down — it’s that our nervous system is still reacting. And it needs more than just a pep talk to hit pause.
That “just calm down” advice misses the rest of the cycle.
Stress isn’t just an event — it’s a cycle.
We feel tension, cortisol gets released, we either react or cope, and then (hopefully) recover.
But in our busy, hormone-shifting midlife life:
That recovery stage often gets skipped
We juggle responsibilities, run a household, or power through without letting cortisol come down
So stress becomes chronic instead of occasional.
No wonder “calming down” feels impossible — it’s not a mindset problem. It’s a body that never got the memo to rest.
Real support starts with slowing the cycle — not stuffing it down.
Meaningful change doesn’t come from forcing ourselves to relax. It starts by giving our body what it needs to move through stress naturally — then supporting the reset afterward. That’s the ripple effect we’re building in my community and, hopefully, in your life.
Some key ways to break the cycle:
Slow breathing or jitter-free breathwork — lowers cortisol in 60 seconds
Gentle movement or stretch — like walking, yoga, or restorative poses
Balanced meals and magnesium-rich foods — to support sleep and cortisol balance
Mind unloaders — a quick brain dump or short journaling session before bed
It’s not about “calm down” — it’s about supporting your body.
When you stop telling yourself to just chill and instead ask, “What does my body actually need?” — everything changes.
It might be:
A time out from feeling pulled in a million directions
A quiet stroll outside
A simple bedtime routine
Or even a weekend where you say no to plans and yes to doing nothing
That’s how you actually move through stress — not by forcing calm, but by recognizing what’s happening and giving your body the tools it needs.
✅ What you can do right now:
Try my 3‑Minute Bedtime Reset tonight (just reach out and I’ll send it to you)
Tomorrow, when you catch yourself thinking “I should just calm down,” remember:
You’re not broken — but you do need better tools.
Let’s lean into July with a clearer view of where stress stops… and true support begins.
You’re not broken.
You’re beautifully human — and absolutely worthy of peace, even when your hormones, your nervous system, and life all feel a bit loud.
Let’s keep turning the chaos into harmony… and thrive together. 💜
